Loving Mr. Spock: Barbara Jacobs ~ Future Horizons: Arlington, Texas

Understanding a Lover with Asperger's Syndrome

In this well-written account of her relationship with a man with Asperger's Syndrome, the author is very transparent, sharing intimate details of her struggles and intertwines information she gleaned from other women who were in relationships with Aspies. Much of her writing is almost poetic making it an enjoyable read. There is a large resource list for people who want more information on various topics surrounding Asperger's and relationships. My favorite section of the book is "Negotiating relationships with Aspergers" where it lists major tips; dos and don'ts to guide a person in relating to someone with Asperger's syndrome. She does an excellent job of describing the mindset of an Aspie and areas of mind blindness that they struggle with, including binary thinking, inertia, scape goating, the importance of sharing a special interest, and, tendency toward self-destructiveness and meltdowns. Helpful tips like making lists are included throughout the book as well. She does a great job of differentiating between OCD (Obsessive Compulsive disorder) and OCD-like symptoms commonly found in those with Asperger's. There is a section with a questionnaire called the AQ (Autism Quotient). She even addresses figures such as Bill Gates and Einstein with a brief analysis. A good chapter on employment and Asperger's along with helpful tips including the effect of theory of min on negotiation skills rounds out the scope of the book. This book is a must have for those in a relationship with someone with Asperger's as well as the professional who is helping to support both partners.

Bonnie Kimpling-Kelly, Teacher/Behavior Analyst